In this episode of the DealMachine REI Podcast, Matt Kamp interviews Sara Hardwick about building a real estate referral engine through generosity, clarity, and connection. Want to hear the full interview? Watch the full episode below:
A real estate referral system is a structured process that helps agents and investors build strategic relationships to generate consistent word-of-mouth leads.
Most real estate professionals have a long list of contacts, but few focus on the top 10–30 strategic relationships that could truly generate meaningful referrals.
In a conversation between Matt Kamp of DealMachine and Sara Hardwick of Giftology, the two explored how intentional relationship-building can fuel a steady stream of high-quality referrals. Rather than cold calls or transactional asks, their approach centers around service, generosity, and structure.
Sara Hardwick’s journey into the referral space began in college, when a friend encouraged her to pursue her natural talent for thoughtful gift-giving. That spark led her to Giftology, where she became immersed in the world of relationship marketing.
While Giftology is often associated with gifts, Hardwick clarified that the true focus is on building trust-based relationships that lead to organic referrals and lasting retention.
Matt and Sara agreed: gifting is useful, but the true engine is trust. Referrals rise when professionals consistently appear, provide value, and invest in others without expecting something in return. A referral system rooted in trust creates more impact than any single campaign.
Despite being powerful, referrals often get sidelined. Many assume good service will naturally lead to word of mouth. However, without structure, even the happiest clients forget to refer. While other marketing channels get tools and strategy, referrals are left to chance.
Sara emphasized that referrals deserve the same level of intentionality as your paid ads or lead gen systems. With a plan, a message, and consistent follow-through, you can turn referrals into a reliable pipeline.
Giving value first is the foundation of an effective real estate referral marketing strategy.
Hardwick introduced the idea of "harmlessly restarting the relationship." Instead of immediately asking for business, focus on small, sincere gestures that re-open lines of communication.
These gestures don’t require a budget; they require attention and care. The goal is to appear in a meaningful, memorable way.
What is a clarity conversation?
It’s a simple, structured talk where you explain what you do, who you serve, and who you don’t. This removes confusion and boosts referral accuracy.
“Referrals are a game of telephone.”
That’s why Hardwick teaches the clarity conversation. In this conversation, clearly share:
Sample Script: “I help first-time home sellers who need guidance on prep and pricing. I don’t handle rentals. I refer those to a trusted colleague.”
This helps your partners repeat your message accurately and refer the right people.
Who should be on your referral list as a real estate agent?
Your top past clients, trusted professionals, and niche-aligned partners who already know and trust you.
You can’t engage everyone. Sara recommends focusing on a list of 10–30 strategic contacts who:
These might include past clients, lenders, attorneys, inspectors, contractors, or fellow real estate agents with a different niche. The key is fit + frequency + warmth.
Giftology teams use weekly "partner meetings" (also called "tap meetings") to stay focused on referral work. These are dedicated sessions to discuss people, not transactions.
This keeps the system active without being overwhelming.
How do you stay top-of-mind without sounding salesy?
Offer consistent, personalized gestures that show attention, not pitch your services.
The best referral marketing starts by making others feel seen and supported.
If the relationship is mutual and ongoing, your partners may ask how they can help. Be ready with a specific and memorable ask.
Examples:
Being specific answers the common question: "How to ask for real estate referrals effectively?”
Short, sticky scripts increase your odds of being remembered and repeated.
Do real estate gifts help increase referrals?
Yes, when they’re thoughtful and useful. Avoid promotional items and focus on personalization.
Yes, when gifts are thoughtful, personal, and practical. Avoid logo-heavy swag. Instead, choose items that become part of everyday life (like a quality kitchen tool).
But remember: gifts support relationships, they don’t create them. Sincerity, attention, and usefulness matter more than price.
What metrics should you track for real estate referrals?
Track clarity conversations, partner touchpoints, referrals sent and received, and deals closed from partner introductions.
Light tracking keeps your referral system on course:
Track what matters, but don’t let metrics overshadow the mission.
Matt and Sara both agreed: helping people connect is deeply fulfilling. Whether it’s making a warm intro or sending a small, thoughtful message, relationship marketing feels good, and that energy sustains you through seasons and market cycles.
Trust compounds. And when people feel seen, they want to help.
Not everyone will reciprocate right away, and that’s okay.
What if partners go quiet or send bad referrals?
Lower your cadence, clarify expectations, and rotate in stronger connections.
Adapt the system, but don’t abandon it.
John Ruhlin, founder of Giftology, built his life on one core belief: it’s more blessed to give than to receive. His impact was not just professional, but deeply personal, through his family, faith, and friends. Sara and the Giftology team continue this mission today.
How do real estate agents get more referrals?
Build strong relationships, give value first, be specific in your messaging, and stay top-of-mind with consistent follow-up.
What is a real estate referral system?
A referral system is a structured approach to generating leads from trusted partners using clarity conversations, personalized outreach, and a repeatable follow-up process.
What should I say when asking for a referral?
Be specific and clear: “I help owners sell as-is without hassle. If you meet someone like that, I’d love an intro.”
Do real estate gifts help increase referrals?
Yes, when personalized, practical, and sincere. Avoid promotional items. Focus on strengthening trust.
Who should be on my real estate referral list?
Start with happy past clients, allied professionals (lenders, contractors, attorneys), and community connectors who align with your niche.